in search of serenity

Picture yourself floating in a raft on a perfect summer day. Your winding down a lazy river between hills of lush, tall maple that climb rolling mountain peaks reaching for plumes of white clouds. Now imagine three gallons of water slaming you in the face from 25 feet away.

Last weekend, I went white water rafting with a group of 24 folks from an adventure meetup group. Everyone I spoke with was adventurous, educated, articulate, surprisingly unafraid of risk in all aspects of their life and had a wild sense of optimism. They were the coolest group of people......until guides put them into rubber boats and handed them buckets. Suddenly most of the men turned into 8 year olds who literally spent the next 5 hours (non-stop!) chasing rafts so that they could assault unsuspecting rafters with a bucket full of water in the face.

One of my raft partners, April, kept saying, hour after hour, “I cant believe this doesn’t get old.” April ended up getting hit in the neck with a bucket which was thrown from another boat by a man in his 50s while his teen aged son looked on in embarrassment. I would have imagined that had I lost control of a bucket that nailed a woman 20 feet away in the neck, I would have stopped with the bucket nonsense but alas no. The fact that she got hit in the neck with a bucket and lived only served to encourage him.

In all, it was a supremely fun experience with a wonderful group of people in a stunningly beautiful location that everyone should experience. Next time though, I'm taking a kayak.

If while looking at these pictures you think to yourself, “I don’t know what Julie’s problem is. That looks hilarious! Matter of fact, I think I’ll go down to Home Depot right now and buy me a bucket”…….you are probably a grown man. *sigh*

Me and my shadow

I stood in the street at the corner of 26th and 5th in the pouring rain gesturing at unsympathetic cabbies as they zipped away all carrying passengers. After five fruitless minutes of this, I decided I was too sleepy to wait any longer. It was past my bed time and I was soaked from my workout anyway. So I began the .75 mile shuffle toward home.

As I crossed the dark, empty street I heard a womans voice say something indistinct. She seemed to be right behind me but when I turned, there was no one there. I looked all around and there wasn't a sole within 50 feet of me. Was I loosing it?

I've seen a lot of people loose it in new york. The worst is seeing individuals who still have one foot in the saine world while the other plunges into the abyss. I always feel like I should do something. But in the end, I just watch helplessly as the rest of new york shuffles past.

There was the nicely dressed man with the CD player screaming lyrics into bushes. There were the many old ladies who walked past me carrying shopping bags from upscale stores having a grand old conversation with themselves. One cocky good looking 18 year old classmate turned into a 21 year old (I suppose) schizophrenic who would gesture in strange jerky movements. Another, a very bright kid who read a lot of philosophy, stopped maintaining his hygene and dropped out of school to go live off the land in Alaska......as a vegan. And at the far end of that, the man on the subway with the paper hospital bracelet around his wrist who knew which stop he needed but was too confused to get off at the right place.

Was this my future?

A few blocks later, I heard the woman's voice again. This time I realized I could make out some of the words. "Please drive the highlighted route."

Unresolved Resolve

In the middle of reading a self help book recommended to me by its author, I resolved to become a better human being. "I must not bash people" I decided, "no matter how much fun it is." Really, we are all social creatures with fragile egos. Why do I take such satisfaction in tarnishing the life others have so carefully constructed for themselves with my judgement and belittling? Of what benefit is it to me or anyone else when I rub an individuals face in their personal or professional short comings? Or, almost equally as bad, when I bash behind their back? In fact, I postulate that it actually makes me less in some cosmic sense.

Pretty good, right?! Yeah, that lasted about two days. Now as much as I would love to resist. I must bash. MUST.

I went to a local toastmasters meeting where I happened to sit in the seat next to a man who introduced himself as the "club mentor". As the meeting continued, I eventually realized that there was no official role of "club mentor". We conversed during breaks when he told me he had a work life that spanned forty years which doing the math....he should be in his early to mid sixties.

The next day he sent an email welcoming me and another new comer to toastmasters(although I didnt see the other new comer's email in the header). I thanked the Mentor and told him I enjoyed myself and that I would be back but wanted to try out different clubs to see which would be the best fit. The next message came:

I am glad you had a good time. I would like to see you again, so, could I take you to dinner,coffee/tea? Your convenience... lol

He could have flirted to see if I was interested....he could have asked in person........he could have ended the email with something like "sincerely" instead of "lol"?????? Seriously?! Normally I would have been flattered, but I dont think anyone has asked me out than "laughed out loud" since I was thirteen. I was tempted to write back, "no. lol."